February 2010
January 2010
the average person tells 4 lies a day, or 1460 a year, a total of 88,000 by the age of 60. and the most common lie is: i’m fine.
“No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don’t like their jobs, they don’t go on strike. They...”
– Homer Simpson (via absurdlakefront)
“well excuse me for having huge flaws that i don’t work on!”
– homer j. simpson
“remember to smile.”
Today, at work, I screamed, used one of my employees as a human shield, dove for cover, and cried. Why? A bat flew into my store. Bats scare me shitless. FML.
“Suicide Is a Way of Telling God; You Can’t Fire Me, I Quit.”
– unknown
“i am so clever that sometimes i don’t understand a single word of what i...”
– oscar wilde.
